Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Hey Lady, Get Out Of My Dressing Room

Is it me or is the lighting in the women's dressing rooms at Nordstrom harsh, and unforgiving? Good Lord, there I was Saturday afternoon, minding my own business and trying on a cute pair of Citizens when I noticed that there was another person in the dressing room!!!! Not cool. I turned around to ask just what the hell she and her pasty droopy butt were doing in there, but every time I turned around so did she. She was fast too. I mean she was always just one step ahead of me, until it hit me. Crap! That's my ass!!!!!! Wow, you innocently spend a few cold winter months in nothing but jeans, leggings, boots and sweaters and look what freaking happens. As luck would have it, I had imbibed a bit at lunch beforehand with friends which allowed me some amount of denial at the time. Alas, as soon as I got home and had a chance to sober up.... I mean, think about my encounter (with my own butt) I decided it was time to take the training up a notch.
Glutes, Junk in the trunk, booty, apple bottom, budonkadonk, of these I was not blessed. Many people think I have a flat back. No, no, I have a flat ASS. So here's the deal. As much as I do not enjoy a squat, a lunge, or any number of lower body exercises, if I am not to be frightened by the very sight of my own ass I must do them. That means, getting down deep, loading the glutes and doing lower body exercises properly. If you insist upon hanging out at the top of your squat, or lunge, you really miss the benefit of loading the glutes. Also, you must maintain the natural curve in your spine in order to properly load the glutes. Failure to do either of these things is potentially dangerous to your health, and at the very least a waste of time. At the end of the day, in order to make authentic changes, we must execute exercises as properly as possible in order to see and or feel long lasting results. Remember, if you want to make a change, you have to change something................Like the lighting in the dressing rooms at Nordstrom. I mean come on people!

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